Takano's Attempts at Pick Up Lines (Feat Ritsu)
by The Yaoi Butterflies
Summary: Takano is in love with Ritsu, that much is obvious. Sadly for Takano, all of his attempts to 'woo' his highschool love have failed so far. This time, though, he decides to use a different approach. Pick Up lines. (Linked sketch-story collection) (Takano x Ritsu)
1. Chapter 1

**ATTEMPT ONE**

A tired Takano sat quietly at his desk, secretly observing his special worker. He and Ritsu were the only two people left, and it was obvious to the black-haired male that the other was nervous out of his wits.

'Should I try Pick Up lines?' Takano pondered. He had researched the night before "ways to your love's heart", and Pick Up lines were a popular result. Of course, he knew better than to trust the Internet. But then he thought, 'why not?'

Slowly, he stood up and started to walk, stopping behind Ritsu's chair. He leaned down and whispered lowly into the brown-head's ear, "Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."

"What?!" Ritsu croaked in embarrassment. The male's faced instantly blew up red, all the way to his ears.

Takano's only answer was a proud smirk as he walked out the door.

* * *

Hi all! Thanks for viewing! I hope you liked it. :)

There will be more coming soon, from both Riruka Riruko and I, so follow if you liked it!

_~Yaeko Cho_


	2. Chapter 2

**Attempt - 2**

* * *

_Finally! The day is over and I can forget all about… whatever the hell that was with Takano-san._

Ritsu walked with a brisk pace as he attempted to put as much distance between himself and the aforementioned man as possible but as was the way with Takano he easily kept pace.

_Damn him and his long legs and stupid raven black hair and deep mahogany brown eyes and- Shut up!_

Ritsu stopped short and shook his head, willing away the angry flush that had taken to his cheeks with such intensity that he yelped when Takano gently blew in his ear to gain his attention. He glared at Takano's chuckle.

"What?" he reproached him hotly, and narrowed his eyes when Takano made a show of looking at his wrist. As Takano looked back at him with a contemplative expression, Ritsu raised his eyebrow.

"My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear."

"Yes, I do!" Ritsu protested vehemently and entered their flat building, jabbing at the elevator button to their floor. _No! The floor on which Takano-san and I happen to live. There is no we or us or our or anything else of the sort._ He stepped into the elevator pointedly ignoring the other man.

"Damn. It must be five minutes fast."

As Ritsu turned to reprimand him Takano swept him into a passionate kiss. When the elevator stopped at their floor Takano dragged a flustered Ritsu into his flat.

* * *

Greetings and salutations everyone! Thanks for viewing. :)

I apologise profusely for keeping you waiting. It seems that Yaeko Cho has lost her muse for this, and so I will be continuing this on my own. I hope you enjoy and don't mind what I have to offer by way of fanfiction but I'll be doing my best.

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	3. Chapter 3

**Attempt - 3**

* * *

It was raining again, and they were shaded under the same place as the last time - where Ritsu had told Takano that he loved him. Or would have had the rain not drowned out his confession. Ritsu stood fidgeting at the memory and Takano watched him quietly.

"Hey, Takano-san," Ritsu said hesitantly, attempting to distract himself from their previous liaison under the building overhang.

"Hmm?"

"Why have you been saying weird things lately?" his cheeks tinting as he asked, he immediately scolded himself for posing the question as Takano leaned in close to his heated face.

"Weird things?" Ritsu slowly nodded. "Because I'm determined in my pursuit of you, and as I have exhausted most avenues of wooing you, I have decided to use pick-up lines."

"Wha-" he faltered as he felt Takano's breath on his neck as he whispered into his ear.

"I'm like a rubix cube. The longer you play, the harder I get."

The rain once again drowned out Ritsu's sputtered dissent, which was silenced by Takano's lips.

* * *

Surprise! Two in one go. I figured that since a number of you have been waiting for so long, a double update would be appreciated. Although, their short lengths are another factor.

Hopefully, I can keep this up. I'll do my best to stay on top of later Attempts so that I can schedule updates for all of you.

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. :)

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	4. Chapter 4

**Attempt - 4**

* * *

Takano and Ritsu were in a small and quaint café that Kisa had suggested to them. If that's how you could describe his telling them, at least. What with frantically clamping Yukina's mouth shut with his hand when he had begun to tell them that it was where they had first- Well, whatever Yukina was going to say was cut off by Kisa, and he simply told them that it was a nice place.

It was unusually crowded inside and Ritsu was beginning to get more nervous than irritated after his initial curiosity at Takano's requesting him to go there together. Due to the crowd he knew that Takano wouldn't make a move on him. At least he thought so. Maybe. Surely he wouldn't, though? He couldn't be sure. He couldn't be sure of much of anything when it came to Takano.

As it seemed that Takano didn't intend on initiating conversation, as he was leisurely drinking his coffee, he decided to ask why he had wanted to go to the café.

"Takano-san why are we here?" Takano took his time in replying and smirked as he drank some more of his coffee before setting it down.

"I wondered when you'd crack." His smirk grew as Ritsu's gaze narrowed and his expression grew agitated.

"Just stuff it, Takano-san a-"

"I will." Takano cut in causing a sprinkle of pink to rise in Ritsu's cheeks.

"Tell me why we're here." Takano pulled a key from his pocket and he put it down in the middle of the table between them, resting his hand near it. Ritsu's curiosity returned and he reached out to pick it up and looked closely at it with a confused expression that Takano found ridiculously cute and he wondered what expression he would make when he saw it.

As Ritsu continued examining the key he noticed something. That something being, upon closer inspection, an engraving of each of them together in chibi form within a love heart. His eyes widened as he put it back where Takano had previously placed it as if burnt.

"What is that?" he asked.

Takano raised his eyebrow in fake surprise. "It's a key to my flat." Ritsu was flabbergasted. He didn't know how to react.

"Yes?" He was thoroughly confused.

"I want you to have it." Takano was amused now.

"Why? Why would I need it?" He blurted out and some of the other customers looked their way.

"Come on, Ritsu. Take it."

He answered quietly this time, " No."

"You don't want to make a scene in public do you?" Ritsu's eyes widened and his face erupted in a blush and Takano knew instantly how he'd interpreted his question, he chuckled. Anticipating the oncoming question of what he meant, he knew how he would convince him.

"What's a nice, clean guy like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?" he asked and opened his mouth again with the intent of continuing with a barrage of pick-up lines that other customers in the café would surely notice. Ritsu knew this and before another line could be said he agreed.

"Alright, don't. Just stop." He hissed. While Takano might not make a move on him in public, it seemed that he wasn't contrary to making a scene with his ridiculous pick-up lines.

As soon as the key was enclosed in his grasp Takano gently laid his hand on his. Upon looking up Ritsu was surprised when Takano's smirk changed into a small smile. It wasn't until later, when Ritsu was lying down on his bed, in his own flat; looking at the key once more did he notice how cute and _right_ the design was. And that their little chibi selves were holding hands.

Takano and Ritsu both fell asleep that night with a warm smile on their face.

* * *

Greetings and salutations everyone! Thanks for viewing.

I hope you enjoyed it. I'm altogether uncertain about how it turned out but hopefully it's tolerable. And I simply _had_ to use 'flabbergasted'. :)

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	5. Chapter 5

**Attempt - 5**

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Ritsu sighed as he unlocked the door to Takano's flat - using the key he reluctantly accepted when Takano had used that dumb pick up line - because he had been pestered by numerous calls for the past two hours. None of which he had been able to answer and therefore deciding to investigate the reasons for such behaviour…

"EEEEEEEHH~?!" was all he could inarticulately say as he exited the entrance hall and stepped into Takano's living room. Strewn throughout the room were beer cans, wines, liquors and various alcohols.

Amid the disaster zone sat Takano on the floor at the coffee table, leaning against the couch with his phone in one hand and the other nursing his glass of liquor. Ritsu's phone began to ring once again and he ignored it in favour of marching over to Takano, who in turn looked up at his presence.

"Ah. Ritsu."

"You must be really far gone if you didn't notice me here until now. You always seem to be unable to leave me alone," he muttered under his breath. "What you do you want Takano-san?! What's the meaning of this?"

"We're celebrating," Takano answered, pulling Ritsu over the table to land on the couch.

"Takano-san! Wha-? What for?" Ritsu shouted angrily. Although, it would have been more prudent of him to have paid more attention to the compromising position they were in…

"Your acceptance of the key to my flat. You used it for the first time I see." he smirked.

"Because you kept on prank-calling me!... Takano-san?" he questioned as Takano leaned down to be less than an inch from his face.

"You know what rhymes with Seamus? Anus." Ritsu's eyes widened and he sweatdropped. "And my Richard to your Seamus will shove my D*** up your Anus." Ritsu gasped as Takano closed the distance and began to kiss him. He had only just realised their position…

As one of their neighbours passed Takano's flat they were startled at the irritated outburst that was,

"TAKANO-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

* * *

... There are no words... This particular pick up line is one of our own creation. It's embarrassing the things that Yaeko and I can come up with, in our conversations. I implore you not to ask, though.

I'm sorry for updating late. I've been ill and am only just beginning to recover from this affliction. I hope you enjoyed. :)

_In response to whom this may concern,_  
_Yaeko Cho has lost her passion/inspiration for this story, yes. However, she does still love it and care for it and for you our reader/s - as do I - but no, she will not be writing any more chapters with me. I am sorry if this disappoints you or if I am a less than desirable substitute._

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	6. Chapter 6

**Attempt - 6**

* * *

Takano watched amused as Ritsu stalked along ahead of him through the cherry blossom lined pathway. The cherry blossoms reminding him of their high school days, he chuckled remembering Ritsu's reaction to holding his hand for the first time. He reached forward with his left hand for Ritsu's right and chuckled again when Ritsu's face turned scarlet. His head flicking to face away from Takano after his eyes flitted briefly to their tightly intertwined hands but making no comment.

Snow began to drift down slowly and it lightly covered the bare cherry blossom trees. Takano smirked as a particular pick-up line came to him at the appearance of the snow. With his free hand he gently guided Ritsu's still blushing face to look at him. Ritsu's eyebrows crinkled together forming a confused yet embarrassed expression.

"Wha-what, Takano-san?" he asked, little clouds puffing out when he spoke, due to the cold.

"Would you be my snowflake and fall for me?" he said smiling as pecked a kiss on Ritsu's nose. His face colouring a darker crimson as the heat rushed more intensely to his face, Ritsu sputtered incoherently before,

"Takano-san! I thought you promised not to use cheesy pick up lines any more," he lightly pouted his lips, speaking quietly as Takano had - the moment delicate and light.

"I lied."

Takano kissed Ritsu's temple.

"Takano-san!"

"It was Loki Day. He _is_ the being of mischief and _lies_... and it seems that today Jack Frost has come to my aid. Let me warm you..." Takano continued to kiss Ritsu's forehead, chin, cheeks, and deeply on the lips.

As the kiss ended Ritsu lightly conked Takano's chin with his forehead as he moved fractionally away.

"Idiot."

* * *

Disclaimer: We don't own Loki as portrayed by MARVEL or Jack Frost as portrayed in _Rise of the Guardians_ by DREAMWORKS based on the '_The Guardians of Childhood'_ novels by William Joyce.

I hope you enjoyed it. I have a soft spot for Loki and Jack. :)

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	7. Chapter 7

**Attempt - 7**

* * *

_Honestly, this man..._ Ritsu sighed in his head. In front of him was a bedridden Takano, flushed all the way to his ears and panting like a dog. The brown-haired male shook his head at his silly boss. _Honestly_, Ritsu thought again, _What on earth was this man trying to achieve?_

Late last night there had been a large downpour of rain and, somehow, Takano was caught in the midst of it. Any normal person would have had the brains to stay put until the bad weather passed, but Takano, being the strange person that he is, decided that he'd walk home.

When Ritsu found him early in the morning, Takano explained weakly that he was "doing some light exercise". It was bad enough that it had been a cold night, and that he had been at a supermarket that was far from home, but Ritsu had later discovered that he had only been wearing a tank top and running shorts (both of which Takano was still wearing).

"Ritsu…" Takano whispered, "Water."

"Sure, sure," Ritsu sighed. He picked up the glass of water on Takano's bedside table and leant over the bed. He slid his hand underneath Takano's back to help him sit up straight before lifting the glass to the his lips. The sick man took small sips before breathing out. Ritsu took it as a sign to lay him back down.

Carefully and gently, Ritsu laid him back down before placing the glass of water beside the bed again. It was quiet for a moment, with only Takano's faint pants in the air. Ritsu, feeling a little awkward, opened his mouth and spoke gently,

"Are you hungry? I could try to make you something light."

Takano weakly shook his head. "No. I think your cooking will make me worse," his voice was slightly hoarse, despite the little bit of water he had drunk only moments before.

An angry tick mark appeared on Ritsu's face. _Wha-! Here I am trying to be nice and helpful to you, even though you've sexually harassed be this whole week, and you're going to say something like that?! THE NERVE!_ Ritsu ranted in his head, a small voice inside suggested that he could just leave him here.

Though, that thought was quickly tossed aside when he heard Takano coughing.

"Takano-san?! Are you okay? Do you want some more water?" Ritsu asked frantically. Takano only shook his head in reply before his coughing ceased. His formally light pants were heavier now, which caused a worried frown to settle on Ritsu face.

After a moment of silence, Ritsu's mind began to race.

_Even though Takano said he was fine, should I go out and get some medicine? Or go on the Internet to find something that could help him? What if I called someone for help? Two is better than one. Yokozawa-san would definitely know what to do..._

A painful pang, caused by unconscious jealousy in his heart [that lingered even after Yokozawa had accepted his feelings for Takano], caused him to hesitate. Did he really wish for Yokozawa to come and look after Takano? Knowing the bear-like man, he'd probably send Ritsu away with the excuse of being "in the way", and he'd have Takano all to himself.

Upon realizing his thoughts, Ritsu cringed. Here Takano was unwell, and possibly in pain, and the only thing that Ritsu was worried about was Yokozawa having the raven-haired male all to himself?! Ritsu would have hit his head on the wall next to him, if only Takano wasn't staring intently at him.

_Maybe in the end_, Ritsu thought sadly, _Yokozawa would take better care of him._

Making up his mind to call Yokozawa, he slowly stood from his chair. He had left his phone in Takano's kitchen, so he took a step toward its direction. Before he could take another, Takano's hand had whipped out from under the sheets and grasped Ritsu's hand tightly.

"Don't go, Ritsu," Takano whispered, his voice weak.

Ritsu's heart sped up and a light blush crept onto his cheeks. "Sorry, Takano-san," Ritsu half-muttered, "I have to go get Yokozawa-san."

"No, I don't want him here. Only you."

"...Fine." Ritsu gave in and sat down.

Silence settled on the room once more.

Takano removed his hand, and slowly lifted it to the Ritsu's face - gently cupping his cheek.

"Wha-at's wrong?" Ritsu's stuttered, weary of Takano's hand.

"I need directions," Takano mumbled.

"What?" Ritsu asked, confused. "To where?"

"To your heart," Takano faintly grinned. He sat up slowly, and pulled Ritsu's face towards his, placing a feather-like kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Ritsu."

* * *

Greetings and salutations everyone! Thanks for viewing.

Surprise! This was pre-written last year by Yaeko Cho and I hope you enjoyed it. Here's a message from her.

_~ Riruka Riruko_

/Aang's old man voice/

Greetings and salutations, weary traveller. I see you have found this old story of mine that has been collecting virtual dust over this past year. I am very sorry that I haven't written more of these, but I have orphaned this and left it up to Riruka who, might I say, is doing a wonderful job.

/old man "hohoho" laugh/

Fear not, young travellers, I will be uploading some other yaoi fics on this account. So, until then-

Farewell!

_~ Yaeko Cho_


	8. Chapter 8

**Attempt - 8**

* * *

The Emerald Department office was once again empty except for Takano and Ritsu's presence. This being due to Takano giving Ritsu some extra work near the end of the day in order to ensure their being alone together.

Whilst Ritsu set out to do this, Takano participated in his favourite activity: Ritsu gazing. Or rather one of his favourite activities to do with his love. As he watched, the furrow between his Ritsu's brows deepened and Takano decided to take it upon himself to smoothen it out.

Discreetly rolling his chair over to Ritsu's workspace he plopped Ritsu onto his lap, taking the sheets out of his hands and putting them on the desk.

"Takano-san! What are you doing? We're at work!" Ritsu yelled in a heated whisper. Takano felt his love shudder against him when he chuckled against his neck. Lightly pressing a kiss there, his lips still in contact with Ritsu's skin,

"So, this would be acceptable at home?" he murmured suggestively, practically feeling the heat radiating from Ritsu's face. Cutting off his stuttering as Takano spoke again,

"Do you want me to give you release?"

"Huh?" His brain wasn't working properly and it felt like it was short-circuiting. Ritsu could feel Takano smirk against his neck at this incoherent response.

"You look like you need some cu_CUM_ber time." Ritsu managed to groan at yet another pick-up line coming from this ridiculous man, before Takano swept them off home to finish what he'd started.

After all, it wouldn't do to have someone walk in on them...

* * *

I'M ALIVE! Hello, everyone. Thanks for viewing. I apologise profusely for the delay and I hope that you enjoyed. :)

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


	9. Chapter 9

**Attempt - 9**

* * *

Takano stood irritated in the elevator after dealing with the printers. All he wanted was to finish up for the day and go home with Ritsu. Once again he'd made sure that this would be possible. Oh, the advantages to being his superior in the office.

Not for the first time, he felt thankful - aside from thoroughly pissed off - for those arseholes that were Ritsu's former co-workers that had been an indirect catalyst to the happy coincidence that he'd been put into the Emerald Department after having left his father's publishing company. Without which they might never have reunited.

Stepping off the elevator he was glad that they had met again, even though wooing Ritsu was admittedly more difficult than his low-self-valuing Ritsu probably thought he was worth. Takano being Takano of course, easily dismissed such things. As he was about to round the corner into their workspace he stopped short at what he was hearing.

"To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push."

Frustrated such as he was previously, such words caused his frustrations to channel south. Especially, as the lips from whence they came were a pair that he planned on lavishing for the rest of his life. Glad of his coat hiding the tightness in his pants he walked in with as much nonchalance as he could, given his newfound circumstances.

Upon entering, after having quickly gone to compose himself in the toilets, he saw that it was just Hatori and Ritsu left in the office. They seemed to have finished whatever discussion they were having with Hatori nodding to him as he left. Determined to have him as soon as possible, Takano advanced on him slowly.

"So, Ritsu…"

"Yes, Takano-san?"

"What did you and Hatori discuss?" He watched with a burning gaze as Ritsu said it was nothing. "Hn. Pack up. We're going home."

"What? But I-" Ritsu paused upon noticing how molten Takano seemed and deemed further protest pointless and grudgingly did as told. All the way home he wondered at Takano's behaviour and what had caused it. He thought back to his conversation with Hataori but couldn't remember anything noteworthy and was left wondering.

However, the moment the elevator stopped on their floor Takano swiftly dragged him into his flat. Bemused and protesting he caused them to stumble and fall onto the living room floor. He was quickly pinned down on his back and was shocked at what came next. Takano made sure to keep his hands in his grip above his head, while his other hand travelled across his abdomen and continued its descent after tweaking his nipples.

Terribly flushed, aroused and all sorts of embarrassed he was unable to speak for a few moments. As they stared at each other he heard his words being recited back to him; Takano making sure that he complied with what was said as he stripped them both for a more pleasant activity.

_"To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push."_

It was only later that the truth behind what Ritsu's words meant were discovered. Pointers for a hand-sewn gift that Hatori planned to give to a very close childhood friend.

* * *

Thank you for viewing! Huzzah, for another update and a rather steamy one at that, my apologies. It just sort of morphed and I ran with it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with the way in which Takano chose to badmouth Ritsu's former co-workers or the rather sizzling finish. We all know that he does what he wants, if you catch my drift. I hope you enjoyed. ;)

I forgot to say in my previous update that I made up the pick-up line specifically for the last Attempt. It amused myself and YaeCho quite a bit. :) What did you all think of it? Did you notice the double entendre in it? Cucumbers and such. XD

Please continue to review, favourite and follow. There'll be more from me soon!

_~ Riruka Riruko_


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